Sunday, November 8, 2009

sorry blog readers (if you are still out there)

i have not been the best blogger.

its interesting though, reading through old posts, this blog was such a great outlet for me. i felt like i was drowning last year, and this blog really gave me something to hold on to. it helped me voice my despair.

this year is so different. i feel so much more in control, more prepared, more "with it", more in tune with my self as a teacher. i am even team leader this year and i feel like that in itself has give me an extra push of confidence. and the kids this year are absolutely wonderful. a joy. a pure joy.

now, don't get me wrong - things aren't perfect. i still have so much to learn and so much to grow in. especially with my patience/attitude. i feel at times i'm very snappy and rude to my students - yell too much, get frustrated too much. sometimes for behavior but other times when they aren't learning at the rate i think they should be. i want to have more patience in giving them time. they will get it. just saying the same things LOUDER isn't going to help anything. :)

finally, a somewhat unrelated topic - the GRE. i take it on saturday and i'm very frightened to be honest. the practice tests i have been taking have not been good....i don't know why it bothers me so much. if i don't do great, i can take it again. it isn't like i'm going to grad school next year. i guess i just have this complex where i have to do the best the FIRST time and if i don't have the greatest score i'll look like a failure. i have to remember that God is in control of my future and if grad school is where he wants me to go...HE will get me there. not me.

unfortunately this worry is keeping me up. i'm going to let it go. i need rest in order to be a patient, loving teacher in the morning. :)

God, give me peace and patience.

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