it's one thing when i'm an emotional wreck, crying and sobbing about how hard teaching is. that's quite normal for me. ;-) it's a totally different story when i'm completely void of all emotion and have no desire to do anything. even my work. that scares me. that is not who i am. i don't want this job affecting who i am. i don't want it to suck the joy out of my life. i just spent the past 3 hours lying in bed, trying to sleep. i have read and prayed and cried, and i'm tired of it. it doesn't have to be this way. it's going to get better and i'm going to get through this.
i can't let a little hardship pull me down.
my dad is so wise. he really is. tonight he told me, "Just don't let the kiddo's control how you feel. You have the power inside of you to control your outlook. Do not let anyone outside make you miserable by their actions." i mean it's the same thing i tell the kids. no one can "make" you do anything. even feel anything. you choose to get upset, frustrated.....i'm not saying that i should be happy and carefree all the time. but i don't have to be in this constant state of depression and despair. I DON'T!
tomorrow is a new day! and it's going to be a good one!