who knows?

I feel like I haven't talked "too" much about my faith on this blog. This will not be the case today.

As my break draws to an end and the return of school looms ever closer, I desire to have an uplifting, radical last quarter. I desire to make a difference in my kids' lives and my own. I desire to teach and not be dragged down by the "other crap" that comes with teaching. I want a reversal of destiny. A change in course. 

I believe this is possible through God. Through prayer. Through faith. I have not for one second believed I was brought to this school by chance. I have a purpose here and God is with me. God is moving in me, in my kids, in my school...in everything.  And I want to be a part of this movement. I no longer want to be caught in this current of fear, anxiety, anger and despair that I have been drowning in these past 8 months. 

For a while I had convinced myself that I just came at a "bad time" that if I could just get away from this it would all be better. The more I study God's Word and pray about my time at this school, I realize that this thinking is just silly. I have been in a Bible study about Esther the past few months and one verse from chapter 4 has really stuck with me:

Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom (or this school!) for such a time as this? (Esther 4:14) 

Who knows? Well, I don't know - but God does and I believe He has big plans for my life. I'm going to trust him and not worry about how it will all turn out or get done. I will just worry about teaching and loving my kids.